Feelings with my ex-husband after three years of meeting again… and a secret that has never been revealed between us…
Three years ago, my ex-husband Michael and I signed divorce papers in a small court in New York.
No arguments, no tears. Just two people who were deeply in love but exhausted by the hurt and silence.
I brought my daughter back to live with my mother in Brooklyn, and he transferred to Boston for work.
Since then, we have had almost no contact, except for the few times we needed paperwork for our daughter, Emily.
For three years, I learned to live alone: go to work, take care of my child, then return to our small apartment every night.
I thought my heart had completely cooled down… until that Friday afternoon.
At Emily’s parent-teacher conference, I saw him.
Still the same tall and thin figure, neater hair, a somewhat mature face.
When he entered the room, my heart sank slightly – as if those three years had never existed.
He smiled slightly, nodding to me. I only had time to respond with a slight nod.
During the meeting, I couldn’t hear what the teacher said, my mind was only focused on that sudden appearance.
When he left, he approached, his voice soft:
“Are you okay?”
Just four simple words, but it made my heart tremble.
“Yeah… fine. How about you?”
He nodded, his eyes wanting to say more, but he held back.
That evening, I received a text message from him:
“I’m so happy to see you two again.”
And just like that, a new door opened.
We started texting more often – first about Emily’s studies, then about work, then about small things in life.
I was surprised to find that talking to him was easier now than when we were still married.
One afternoon, he texted:
“I’m planning to take the kids to the beach this weekend. Come with me. It’s been a long time since we’ve been anywhere.”
I hesitated, but Emily’s eager eyes made it impossible for me to refuse.
And so, the three of us – as a complete family – were together on the bus to Long Island Beach.
When I saw Michael holding Emily and laughing under the waves, my heart suddenly trembled – a feeling that I thought had died.
I was afraid. Afraid that I would weaken again, fall in love with him again.
But emotions, like waves, once they arise, no one can stop them.
After the trip, Michael appeared more in our lives.
He picked up the kids from school, brought them home, occasionally stopped by to buy pizza, asked if I needed any help.
I tried to keep my distance, but that distance was so fragile that just a glance was enough to break it.
One rainy evening, he called:
“Where are you? Don’t drive yourself, I’ll come pick you up.”
In the car, the rain was tapping on the glass. The space was quiet, only the breathing of two people.
Then he said, his voice low and trembling:
“I never stopped loving you.”
My heart stopped. All the memories, the hurt, the desire… came rushing back like a flood.
But before I could say anything, he continued:
“But… three years ago, I left not because I stopped loving you.”
I turned to look at him, my eyes filled with questions.
He was silent, then only said:
“I will tell you everything. I just hope you don’t hate me.”
A few days later, when Emily was asleep, he sat down across from me, his voice heavy:
“Three years ago, my company was under financial investigation. If I didn’t take the blame for my boss, I could have lost my job and been sued. I was afraid that you and the child would be dragged into trouble. People suggested to me that if I left New York, got a divorce, kept quiet… everything would be fine.”
I was stunned.
“So… you chose to leave me to protect me and the child?”
He nodded, his eyes red:
“I thought if you hated me, you would forget me faster. I was wrong. I can’t forget you, and I can’t live with that torment.”
My tears welled up.
For the past three years, I’ve blamed myself, thinking that he stopped loving me, that our marriage failed because I wasn’t good enough.
Who would have thought, it turned out, he chose to shoulder everything alone.
“Why didn’t you tell me from the beginning?” – I choked.
“Because I’m a coward. I’m afraid that if you know, you’ll suffer with me. I just want you to be at peace.”
When I cried, Michael squeezed my hand:
“If I still have the chance, I want to make it up to you. I want to come back, I want to take care of you and your mother… like I should have done from the beginning.”
I looked at him – the man who had hurt me, now made me cry with pity.
It took me a while to speak:
“You know, it’s not hard to forgive… but it’s not easy to trust again from the beginning.”
He nodded, softly saying:
“I’ll wait. No matter how long it takes.”
The next morning, Emily woke up, saw her father was still in the house, ran to hug him, innocently said:
“Daddy, I want you to stay with Mom and me forever.”
Michael and I looked at each other, both silent.
Then I smiled, nodded.
Three years apart taught us many things – about silence, about hurt, and the value of family.
We chose to start over – not for the past, but for the present and future of our daughter, and ourselves.
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