What are you doing? He stammered, as if he didn’t really know what to say.
I didn’t respond right away. I just finished adjusting the wheels of the chair, gently stroked her mother’s hair, and said,
“Mom, you’ll be fine here.” Your child will finally have time to take care of you.
She smiled, with that naïve sweetness of someone who does not understand the full magnitude of what is happening. Years of prostration, years of living locked up between four walls with a body that no longer obeyed. But his eyes were still alive, trusting, innocent.
I looked at the other woman. She was completely stiff, still with her silk nightgown hanging from her body, mascara still fresh on her eyelashes. He said nothing, but his eyes swept over me with a mixture of nervousness, disdain, and growing discomfort.
That’s when I turned to him. And in a voice so calm that even I was surprised, I said to him:
“For seven years, I took care of your mother as if she were my own. I bathed her, fed her, changed her diapers. I put up with his criticism, his complaints, his silence and his tears. All while you were going out to work… or so you said.
He swallowed hard, but did not respond.
“I didn’t judge you. I never raised my voice. I always thought it was our duty to share the burdens. But in the end, I discovered that only I was wearing them. And you… You left without looking back.
I walked over to the table, took the medical notebook, and opened it, showing him a page.
“Here are the medication routines. At 7 in the morning he needs this. At 10 o’clock, another. She doesn’t like to be given sweet things before bed, she has a hard time swallowing. The doctor said that the position must be changed every two hours to avoid sores.
He could barely hold his gaze.
“I didn’t come to fight. I came to give you back something that was always yours.
I went up to his mother, kissed her forehead, and whispered in her ear:
“Take care, Mom. Your child is going to be with you. He loves you, you know? He’s only been… confused.
She smiled. He believed my words. And that hurt more than everything else.
Then I went to the door. Before leaving, I stopped. I turned to them one last time, and said something that made them both turn pale:
“I hope you, my dear,” I looked directly at the mistress, “have the same patience that I had. Because believe me, when the nights are long, when you have to clean wounds and hear wailing, he won’t help you. He’ll say you’re better than him for that.
The silence was absolute.
And then I left.
On the way home—now, my home, with no one else—I was overcome by a mixture of relief and emptiness. I had done the right thing, but my soul was heavy. Like when you drop a very big weight all at once and your legs tremble without knowing what to do.
That night I slept as I hadn’t slept for years. Without having to get up to change sheets, without fearing that someone would drown in the middle of the night, without hearing complaints from the other room. It was strange. The silence was too clean.
The days passed. No one called. No one came to complain about anything. It was as if I had been erased from their lives. And that hurt too, but I learned to accept it.
Two weeks later, a neighbor who was still talking to my ex told me something I didn’t expect:
“Your ex is going crazy. He doesn’t know how to take care of his mother. The girl he lives with… It seems that she is no longer so delighted with the idea.
I didn’t say anything. I just nodded and went on my way.
But inside me, something stirred. Not for revenge, but for justice. For years on end, I was the silent shadow that kept a broken family standing. And now, that family was facing the truth: that you can’t build on abandonment.
A month later, I received an unknown call. I replied cautiously. It was him. His voice was hoarse, almost broken.
“I can’t take it anymore. I don’t know how you did it. I don’t know how…
I was silent. Waited.
“She,” referring to her partner, “left. He said this was not what he imagined. That I couldn’t deal with… this.
I had to sit down. The irony was too great.
“And your mother?” I asked.
“He’s in the hospital. He fell. I didn’t know how to react. He shouted my name and I… I froze.
A silence.
“Can you come?”
My response was immediate, without hatred but firmly:
“No.
There was a sigh of despair.
“But she trusts you.
“And you trusted me to carry everything. Forever.
I didn’t hang up. I let the weight of my words float away. And then I said:
—You have two options: you learn to take care of it or you seek professional help. I’m not that help.
Hung. This time, without trembling.
As time went by, I began to rebuild my life. I took a gerontological assistant course. Not because I wanted to continue caring for the elderly, but because I discovered that I knew how to do it well, and there were many who did value it.
My son grew up seeing a strong mother. He learned that love is not servitude. That self-respect is worth more than broken promises.
A year later, I received a letter. It was not his, but his mother’s. Written with difficulty, trembling but clear handwriting. Said:
“Thank you. For not having abandoned me before. For having taken care of me when I didn’t deserve it. My son is still learning. Don’t be him. I am because of you.”
Cried. I cried a lot. Because, in spite of everything, that woman whom I hated so much in silence… he asked me for forgiveness.
Today, my house is full of plants. Peace smells of jasmine. And every time I water the flowers, I think about how many times I stopped watering myself to take care of others.
I don’t regret it. Because I learned. Because now I am free.
And because the next time someone tries to leave me alone with the burden of their abandonment… I will know exactly what to say to him, with my head held high and my dignity intact:
“It’s not my turn to save anyone. I’ve already saved myself.”
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